Is there really a NORMAL after Divorce?

“I was a high-functioning depressive, seemingly pulled together and buttoned down. But inside deep, I was numb and mute. Now on the other side of divorce, I know that was me fragmented and doing my best to cope. But my body knew.” — Liza Caldwell

“I want a divorce.”

Those are undoubtedly four of the most painful words a wife/husband can say. Divorce will leave you feeling sad, lonely, and financially strained, leaving you wondering what to do next. Research says after a divorce, it normally takes two years to feel normal again. But then again I think is there really a “normal?”

I think every person who gets divorced tends to stalk his/her ex-partner. Looking out on social media, whats app statuses, emails or in any other form. Despite there are many around to tell you to stop chasing and hunting the one person who caused you so much pain but I think its beyond control..

Does stalking help? I think not, it just you're pushing yourself in more deep waters .. When I think of my divorce, I feel like… what went wrong? I read this:

“There are things in my life that are hard to reconcile, like divorce. Sometimes it is very difficult to make sense of how it could possibly happen. Laying blame is so easy. I don’t have time for hate or negativity in my life. There’s no room for it.”— Reese Witherspoon

Then I think, did I miss on something? Could have I done better? Did I not give my best? Then I read this:

“I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than regret the things I haven’t done.” — Lucille Ball

I spend hours staring at walls and ceilings thinking had I continued more in that relationship, maybe things would have worked out…but deep down I knew I’ll never be fine in that relationship.. its just that I didn't wanted to see that coming… Then I read this:

“Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping it will transform into a door.” — Coco Chanel

When I go too mad, I think was this what I really wanted to have in life? A divorce? Was this the really end to all dreams with him? I read this:

“I didn’t exactly want to get divorced. I didn’t exactly not want to. I believed in almost equal measure both that divorcing **** was the right thing to do and that by doing so I was destroying the best thing I had. By then my marriage had become like the trail in that moment when I realized there was a bull in both directions. I simply made a leap of faith and pushed on in the direction where I’d never been.” ― Cheryl Strayed

Divorce comes with lots of other issues and challenges. I’m forced to make a living, look out for myself, alone through thick and thin. Is that bad? Is it even bad from staying in an abusive unhealthy marriage? I read this:

“I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me.”
— Erica Jong

I could never tell or perhaps could never make him understand how much I loved him or maybe he just wouldn't understand my emotions but I really wished things could have worked out. (I know my bad to think like this even today!)

Now, life has brought me to the point where I think:

“I used to hope that you’d bring me flowers. Now I plant my own.”
— Rachel Wolchin

I’m a survivor, I have people who care for me, I have prayers of my loved ones and a life ahead. When I think of this all, I read this:

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”
— Maya Angelou